You wanton, quiet memory that haunts me all the while
In order to remind me of her whom love I send.
Perhaps when you caress me sweetly, I will smile.
You are my confidante today, my very dearest friend.
You sweet remembrance, tell a fairy tale
About my girl who’s lost and gone, you see.
Tell, tell the one about the golden grail
And call the swallow, bring her back to me.
Fly somewhere back to her and ask her, soft and low,
If she thinks of me sometimes with love.
If she is well and ask her, too, before you go
If I am still her dearest, precious dove.
And hurry back, don’t lose your way,
So I can think of other things, but you were too lovely, perhaps,
to stay.
I loved you once. Good-bye, my love!
~Anonymous
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ReplyDeleteYou did a pretty good job Selena. A part of your butterfly I liked was the pictures of the two hands interlocking on the upper right hand corner. I too used a variation of that idea on my butterfly. You exaplined it well how close they really are and your visual truly brought that idea to life. It really shows we really understood the poem and had similar ideas.
ReplyDeleteThe pictures you chose to attach to your butterfly were really cool. It felt like for every tag for your explanations, you had a picture that went along with it and was relevant to the explanation.
Some areas that could have used improvement was first your explanations. I felt deep down you could have added on to each explanation and that you had the understanding to go more in depth. From what I saw you truly understood this poem and that you had the potiental to add a little more. As you have probably heard, quality over quantity, but adding more could also be important as well.
I also felt that your butterfly lacked more textures. From what I saw, you only attached pictures to your butterfly and added some color. It would have been nice to see how someone else interpreted this poem and could have added a unique texture different from mine. I feel it's refreshing to see new ideas and seeing new ideas from these butterflies helps me understand the poem a little better then I did when I read it. Overall, you and Clement did a fine job on your butterflies.
Good job. However, There are a few things that I would like to point out.
ReplyDeleteOn your butterfly, there are multiple small drawings and quotes. You should include a picture of this in your tags, as it is rather hard to see the quotes/pictures.
You say in multiple tags that "her" refers to the author's mother, but you do not have any reasoning in your tags that it is his mother. Instead, you should have said your reasoning as to why it would have been his mother, rather than a lover that he knew at the camp. Basically, I'm saying that you should provide more context for people that may not have analyzed the poem while showing your reasoning. To continue off this, you say "I chose this" and "his mother" multiple times. At a certain point, your pictures should be self-explanatory, instead of saying "I chose this", you should explain what the meaning of the picture is, as the audience can EASILY see what it is.
Context seems to be a problem. Both on the tags and the butterfly. Your butterfly should be the adequate context for your poem, but you need to make sure your quotes and pictures are clear so people know what your message is. You did not include any Additional Information, so an audience member that did not do any beforehand research would be very confused.
The picture is very zoomed out, or the things on the butterfly were made with a regular pencil, which is hard to see on hot-pink paper. You can easily fix this by either taking a more close up picture or adding several close up pictures to your tags.
Butterfly wise, I do not think that Hot-pink was an appropriate color for the butterfly, especially if you do not explain why you chose that color. It seems like I can count your materials, on one hand, Cardstock, printer paper, and what seems to be a Pipe cleaner. This is a good amount of materials according to the Butterfly rubric.
Thinglink wise, the tags are okay. I like how they are concise and easy to understand, but that being concise shouldn't remove from your content. You should have focused on other elements in the story.
tl;dr, Good, but you didn't provide the required amount of tags (14), and had easy to understand (and concise!) tags. But you should explain your claims when you are analyzing the poem. You should have widened the range of topics you covered in the Thinglink tags, along with providing some of the required things like additional Info, poetry analysis, etc.